mooooo.

mooooooo. moo. moomoomoo.

Yes, I'm mooing at myself because I feel like a freaking milk cow! I feel "udderly" (ha.ha.) ridiculous double-pumping while wearing the hands-free bra thingy, but it does allow me to easily update my blog. We went to the pediatrician for Karinne's one-month check last week and even the doctor called me a good milk cow (due to her good weight gain and I never had to supplement with formula).

Speaking of her one-month check, we officially have a thriving baby! As of last Wednesday, she was 9lbs 6oz (7lbs 10oz at previous appt) and she's grown almost an inch. She also got her second dose of the Hep B vaccine and a heel stick and she was NOT happy after that. I swear, she's got the most pitiful cry sometimes; I dread the day she has the mental capacity to use it to her advantage!

On a sad note, I go back to work on Thursday :( Just half days for 2 weeks so I'll be able to kind of ease back into things, but I'm definitely not looking forward to it. There were also some pretty big changes made while I was on leave that affected my department so I'm interested to see what's in store for me when I get back.

There are a couple of neighborhood cats that hang around our house sometimes (I think the people that lived here before us let them hang out in the crawlspace) and one of them is chasing a squirrel around the back porch now. I hope he doesn't kill it and leave it there. Right now Mr. Squirrel is under the grill licking up some strange substance and the cat is just sitting next to the grill, watching; I guess it's not exciting when the squirrel is just presented on a platter like that!

Here are some photos from Karinne's newborn photo session; she was really unhappy after we took off her clothes, so it was kind of a bust. 15/20 photos are just different angles and colors of one pose; I kind of wish the photographer would have let us see all the shots, and then let us choose the poses we wanted--I at least would've liked the option to reject them! I think it bothers me more that I didn't intend for all of the shots to be in those clothes--we just decided on a whim to get a few because she looked cute. Oh well. Maybe she'll be better for her 3-month photos in November :)

First of all, thank you for all your sweet comments :) I know I've been pretty lame, not commenting and all, but I promise I'm reading and hopefully one of these days I'll actually start leaving comments again! You see, most of the time when I'm on here I'm nursing and it's not easy to type while holding the baby. Right now I'm pumping with my handy-dandy hands-free pumping bra--I've never felt so much like a cow in my life! I'm just trying to get a nice little stash going not only for when I go back to work, but also for when I'm out and about and want to leave Karinne at home, or, you know, if we ever decide to have a date night.

Karinne had her one-month birthday on Saturday; oh how the time has flown. I also can't believe that I'll be back at work in less than 2 weeks. I'm going to just work half days for a week or two so I can kind of ease back into things. I actually get 8 weeks of leave since I had a c-section, but seeing how I'm not getting paid I decided to go back at 6 weeks for half days. I hope that this country has better maternity leave laws by the time Karinne starts having babies; and that's all I'm going to say about that.

This week we discovered that our baby looooves Pink Floyd. She was really really fussy one day so Marc turned on Pink Floyd because his dad told him that it always soothed him as a baby; it's kind of funny because whenever it stops or is quiet between tracks and she hasn't conked out, she starts crying--then when it comes back on, she's quiet again. It's amazing!

4 weeks? Really?

I can't believe my baby is already 4 weeks old! She's getting to be more alert every day and she's started making little cooing noises (yay for sounds besides crying, haha). Her nighttime sleeping isn't terrible, though the closer it gets to dawn, the shorter her sleeps are--for example, last night she slept from about 10-2:30, 3-5, 6-7:30. I guess it could be worse.

We're thinking about when to start putting her in her crib in her own room... I'm a little nervous, only because our room is downstairs and hers is upstairs and it just seems so.far.away. I think next week we'll start putting her up there for naps and then after a couple of days do the whole nighttime thing. Those of you with kids, when did you put them in their own room?

We've been trying to get out more and more with Karinne; she's been pretty good in restaurants, only once so far has Marc had to take a walk with her. We went to a park last week to enjoy the weather and listen to some live music. I'll leave you with pictures from that excursion:

Sloss Furnace and downtown Birmingham

tummy time!

emotional rollercoasters.

Having a baby really is a rollercoaster (just like everyone says it will be!). What a lot of women don't talk about is the rollercoaster of emotions that you're on at the same time. I love my baby. It's amazing how much love you can have for such a tiny, squirmy, parasitic creature. However, people keep asking things like "Is it wonderful??" or "How much do you love being a mommy?" and well, truth be told, I didn't know how to respond. I didn't love being a mommy for the first couple of weeks--and I felt really guilty about that. I knew I eventually would love it, but no one ever talks about how they don't love being a mom straight from the get-go. I was starting to wonder if something was wrong with me or that I'd made a terrible mistake--but how could that be? Again, I loved my child, but I just didn't love the mommy part yet. 

This week, though, I feel it changing. Karinne is 3 weeks old now, and we're getting out more and doing more and I'm more confident about breastfeeding in public (politely covered of course!) and my hormones aren't all wonky anymore AND I'm feeling loads better since the c-section; now I only feel pain if I've been walking or standing too much (that threshold is about 45 minutes). I try to get out with Karinne at least once a day, even if it's just to walk around the block. She loves being in her Ergo carrier, and both Marc and I love wearing her, so we may end up becoming mall-walkers, haha; at least until the weather cools down a bit. 

Tomorrow Karinne is going to have her newborn photos taken (she's still a newborn at 3 weeks, right?) so let's hope she cooperates and isn't cranky for them. I've decided that my darling child is not one of those easy, always happy and content babies; she is a "passionate" child, as I learned from reading The Happiest Baby on the Block. However, she seems to do pretty well out in public so maybe I'm slightly worried for no reason; we're also learning more about her every day so we can better soothe her. I feel a little more confident every day that I might actually know what I'm doing. 

In weight-related news, my weight has been fluctuating between 229 and 231, so I'm pretty okay with that. In 3 weeks I can start exercising--I can't WAIT to break out the Gazelle! I got it like a year before we went to Korea, but the weight limit on it is 250 so I couldn't really use it (how embarrassing is that??). I'm dying to wear some normal pants, but my tummy is still a bit poochy and swollen so they're a little snug in the waist. I just gotta be patient, I know!

BYOC--My first one!

Can you believe I've never participated in BYOC (Bring Your Own Crazy)?? Me neither! So here goes nothin':

1. How much makeup do you wear daily, how long does it take you and are you loyal to certain brands?

These days I don't wear any, maybe some mascara and lip gloss if I'm actually leaving the house. However, when I'm going to work and such I wear foundation, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss, and maybe eyeshadow if I'm feeling frisky. I always use Clinique for foundation and powder; everything else is up for grabs. 


2. Repeat question: I’m going to pick a person not knowing your relationship with them (or even if there is one) and you try to describe this person in 5 words/short sentences.

Your oldest paternal aunt

unknown
nonexistent
imaginary
invisible
blank


3. Tell me about your first real kiss and how old you were.

*sigh* I was 16 and he came over to my house to have dinner and he brought "Saving Private Ryan" for us to watch; romantic, huh? Anyway. My mom made spaghetti and garlic bread, and he ended up being an hour late because he got lost. That should've been my first clue that he was lame since our house was not difficult to find. He finally arrived and I watched him eat then my parents made themselves scarce and we sat down to watch the movie. I noticed the whole time that he kept inching closer and closer to me and then out of the corner of my eye I saw his face looming closer and closer with spaghetti in his braces; finally I decided that I was just delaying the inevitable and turned my face so he could kiss me. It was pretty anticlimactic, but I suppose it could have been worse.


4. If I gave you $1000.00 and told you that you had to give it to a charity – which charity would you choose and why?

American Heart Association or something geared towards women's heart health. My mom died from complications after a heart attack and I strongly believe the outcome would have been different if her treatment hadn't been delayed nearly 2 days due to lack of knowledge regarding the symptoms of a heart attack in women. 


5. Repeat question: Summarize your week in blog land and in real life.



In blog land, I've started blogging again and also redesigned my blog--I'd forgotten how theraputic blogging is! 


In real life, I've been super-busy too--my baby is 2 weeks old now!

happy 2-week birthday, Karinne!

Karinne is 2 weeks old today--on one hand I can't believe it's already been 2 weeks since she was born, but on the other hand it's also felt like the longest 2 weeks of. my. life. The days aren't so bad, really... on Monday we took our first adventure to PetSmart, Target, and a Mexican restaurant... but the nights are still pretty rough. Last night wasn't too bad... I actually got to sleep in a few 2- and 3-hour stretches. I know it'll get better though... as many people have told me, "this too shall pass".

In weight-related news, I weighed 268 on the day I delivered. Today, I am 231 and some change. I love giving birth! Considering that my pre-preg weight was 252 and I got down to about 235 before I started gaining during the pregnancy, I'll call it a victory!

Enough posting for today. I have to go take care of a baby!

Karinne's Birth Story.

Her birth story, as promised:

I woke up on Wednesday, August 3, 2011, thinking that it was going to be just another routine doctor day—go to my 40-week appointment at 8am and get to work around 9am. Since I normally had these appointments on Thursdays, I even sent a text to one of my coworkers letting him know where I was so he wouldn’t wonder if I wasn’t at work because I was in labor.

My blood pressure was a little high on this particular day—right around 140/90. Not high enough to really worry, but enough so that my doctor decided to send me for a non-stress test to make sure the high blood pressure wasn’t affecting the baby. I was certain everything would be okay, because we’d had quite a few “false alarms” during the pregnancy that turned out to be nothing.

Everything was going fine during the NST until the baby’s heart beat dropped from its rapid swishing to a very slow beat during one of the bigger contractions; I told myself that she’d just moved off the monitor again. I glanced at the screen and it told me that her heart rate was in the 60’s, when it had been in the 140’s. The technician came over to check and had me roll over to one side and started jiggling my belly a little bit. After a couple of minutes her heart rate finally started to come back up. The technician said she thought the baby had probably just rolled onto her cord and that it was probably nothing, but she had to call the doctor anyway.

Dr. Tamucci came down within a few minutes and after looking at the strip of paper that showed the baby’s heart rate and the strength of my contractions (not real labor contractions, mind you) she had kind of a shocked expression on her face. She started off by saying that she really thought this test would be fine and that we'd get to go home. Then she continued: 

“I’m afraid to let you stay pregnant, and I don’t think I can induce you either. If her heart rate is dropping this much with just these little baby contractions, can you imagine what it would do with big-time labor contractions? We need to do a c-section, and we need to do it today.”

My heart dropped. The last thing I’d wanted was a c-section; I’d planned on a totally natural, unmedicated childbirth! Of course I wanted whatever was best for my baby, but I couldn’t help but mourn a little over the loss of something I’d looked forward to for such a long time. Marc was upset too, but more because he didn’t want me to have to go through major abdominal surgery. Once the initial shock passed, I tried to just focus on the fact that I was going to be having a baby in just a few hours. This was around 11am, and the c-section was scheduled for 3pm.

I continued to cry off and on for about an hour; so many emotions were hitting me all at once! I was already dreading the recovery from this surgery, but I kept reminding myself that the goal was a healthy baby, and that’s what I was getting. Then I started to feel anxious, maybe a little scared; I tried not to focus on that part too much. Marc left around 12 to go home and get our bags and continue making phone calls. My doula, Sarah, arrived around 12:30pm—she was just what I needed. She calmed me right down and gave me hand massages to help me relax. Marc came back around 1pm and from then on it was a waiting game. At 2, the anesthesiologist came to place the epidural and around 2:45 they wheeled me back to the OR to get prepped for surgery. I kept getting waves of nausea but thanks to a magic injection of ephedrine it didn’t stick around very long. Dr. Tamucci came in—I hardly recognized her in all her OR gear—and then Marc came in.

Approximately 6 minutes later, at 3:06, I heard the sounds of my baby girl crying which of course made me start crying. The doctor held her up so I could see and so Marc could get some pictures and then they went to wipe her off and wrap her up in a blanket. One of the nurses brought her over so I could see her and touch her and smell her—I thought she was absolutely beautiful. Marc took Karinne back to our room to wait for them to finish closing me up; once they got me back in the room (it was only 3:30!) she was unswaddled and placed on my bare chest with a warm blanket placed over both of us and we laid like that for an hour. She was a little sleepy so she didn’t start breastfeeding during that time, but it wasn’t too much longer and then she was breastfeeding like an old pro.

I experienced such a range of emotions on that day—fear, anxiety, sadness, happiness, excitement, peace—but I wouldn’t trade any of it. You know why? Because it resulted in the birth of my healthy baby, my daughter, Karinne.

holding her up so I could see

love this face