It's been a while! Quick update.

It's been a while since I posted; I just haven't been feeling any inspiration since I've been "maintaining". However, the maintenance has come to an end and today I reached my next mini-goal of 235! Now, if I can stay at this weight for the next 6 months (I can't believe there's only 6 months left until I have a BABY!) I would be perfectly happy. I've been eating better this week, and the scale showed it.

Now I'm going to start worrying about things like gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. My mom had gestational diabetes when she had me, so I'll be more surprised if I DON'T get it. As for the preeclampsia, my blood pressure's been good so far so I'm keeping my fingers crossed on that one.

Thanks everyone for all of your comments and encouraging words, and the awards (from Grace and Read)! They didn't go unnoticed and hopefully I'll have some time soon to do a proper "acceptance" post.

Is this it? Let's be real.

For the last week, the scale hasn't moved. I'm staying right around 239, and I'm afraid this might mean that my weight loss/baby weight gain has leveled off. I was hoping to lose a little bit more and fit well into my 18's, but I'm not sure it's going to happen. I'm trying not to be discouraged about it, and I really need to start exercising--it also could just be a natural weight plateau. I do think I ought to update my ticker though--I was so close to my next mini-goal of 235! Arrrrrgh. Don't worry, I'm not just going to throw in the towel. I also must admit that I haven't made the best choices this week food-wise.

I'm also 12 and half weeks along now--this first trimester has flown by! I guess I should at least be happy that I lost 10 pounds during these first weeks rather than gained, but I'm a little sad that it's probably going to be a long time until I actually look pregnant rather than just fatter. Luckily I'm tall (5'9"), so I have that going for me. The lower part of my belly does feel harder though, so I think if I could get all this flab removed I might actually look a little pregnant :)

Sigh. Just needed to get this worked out of my brain. Thanks for listening.

Thank you and my first blog award!

First, I wanted to say thank you all so much for your sweet and thoughtful comments regarding my previous post. I'm a little awkward when it comes to this type of thing, so I'm just going to leave it at that. Please know how grateful I am and how much I appreciate all of you.

Next up, I received my very first blog award from Lisa! Thank you Lisa, you are super sweet too!

 So, to accept this award I'm supposed to list 5 guilty pleasures and then pass it on to 3 more fabulous and sweet bloggers! Let's see what I can come up with for my guilty pleasures....

1. Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream: This ice cream was first introduced to me in pint form during my senior year of high school as a means of coping with my very first break-up. Nowadays it's still my absolutely favorite ice cream and pre-band I enjoyed at least one pint every week. We'll see what happens when I return to the US and I have access to it again!

2. Sex and the City: I love this show. I love the movies. I own the special edition box set of the series and I'm currently watching it again (I just started season 5). I normally watch it with #1, but as I'm in Korea I'm settling for veggies and dip.

3. Funky jewelry: In Korea I quickly learned that it would be nearly impossible for me to enjoy clothes shopping since, well, it's nearly impossible to find big girl clothes. I replaced my clothing addiction with a jewelry addiction, and I love how cheap I can buy great, funky jewelry here.

4. Chick lit: I love girly books. I love reading books for entertainment--I'm not really one that enjoys reading "intellectual" books that require lots of thinking. I especially love anything by Sophie Kinsella, Cecelia Ahern, Jodi Picoult, Anita Shreve, and Rachel Gibson. Oh, and I love the Sookie Stackhouse series.

5. Kimchi: I used to find this famous Korean dish absolutely revolting, but since I've been pregnant I actually crave it. It's spicy pickled (somewhat fermented) cabbage (although other vegetables can be used) and I much prefer "fresh" kimchi to old, fermented kimchi. It's also supposed to be ridiculously good for you, so I guess it's not the worst craving I could have!

Okay, now to pass on the award...

Rachel Thin Within

Violinist with a Band

Lapband and Beyond

Goodnight! I hope you all had a great weekend!

Not About Weight Loss

For the past three years, I’ve written a little something around this time about my mom. The days from January 19 - January 31, 2008, were days that changed me, who I am, to my very core. I wasn’t the same person after January 31, and I’m not sure that I’ll ever be who I was before then. I became more serious, less carefree, and more aware of everything bad in the world. Three years ago today, January 20, was the last time I heard my mother’s voice. She said “I love you, baby,” just before I left to go take a shower because I’d been at the hospital all night long. She was going in for emergency open-heart surgery, and I was certain that she would make it; she’d survived everything else life had thrown at her. If you watched “How I Met Your Mother” this week, then you know how important Last Words are. I’m happy these were hers.

When she died, she took a little piece of me with her. I know this because I still think about her 2,572 times every day. Now that I’m pregnant with my little sea monkey (Marc hates that name), I think about her even more. I think about the stories she told me about her mother, because even though I never knew any of my grandparents my mom always talked about them. She wanted me to know about them and keep their memory alive, and I want my children to know their Nana as well.

I often imagine what her reaction might have been like when I told her that I was pregnant. I’m sure she would have cried and kissed me about 42 times and then immediately wanted to go shopping. Oh, but she would have called all of her friends and talked to each of them for 2 hours so we’d have to wait until the next day to go shopping. My mother was most definitely my very best friend, and I’m sad that I was robbed of that friendship just as I was truly becoming an adult.

I’m sure my mom had a few faults, but honestly I can’t really remember them. She was an amazing, incredible woman who survived ridiculous car accidents, diabetes, and cancer. She was my biggest fan at every basketball game, math competition, spelling bee, choir concert, soccer game, awards ceremony, and graduation ceremony (although I think she was even more proud of me every time I broke up with a crazy boyfriend). She was positively glowing with pride and love the day Marc and I got married. I think that’s how most people remember her, as it was the last big event before The Day That Changed Our Lives Forever. I’m glad that I have only beautiful, wonderful memories of my mother. Take this how you will, but sometimes I imagine that my mom just had so much love in her heart that it simply split her heart in two.

The doctor cut my forehead during the c-section. I was a big baby.

Mom, my sister, me

College graduation day

Wedding Day

**Heart disease in women truly is the silent killer. My mom had no idea she was having a heart attack, because you only see the male symptoms in movies and on TV (clutching of the left arm or pain in the chest area). This delayed her care for nearly 2 days. In women, the signs are much more subtle; in fact, she went to one hospital and ended up leaving because they didn’t seem too worried (she waited over an hour in the waiting room). She felt nauseous and clammy, and thought she was having gas pains. Please, educate your mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends about the signs because sometimes even healthcare providers do not recognize the signs. http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/features/her-guide-to-a-heart-attack 

Weekends are much too short

It's already Sunday and I'm already getting the "I don't wanna go to work tomorrow!"s. I'm listening to Death Cab for Cutie right now, and it's totally taking me back to my college days. I love reminiscing, the good and even the not-so-good.

Marc is still sleeping (it's 11:55!) but apparently he can't wake up unless I force him outta bed. Seriously, it's like I'm married to a teenager sometimes! He's got plans to hang out with some of his man friends today, so I'll have the place to myself for about 5-6 hours. What to do, what to do?? Maybe I'll clean up our pigsty of an apartment and then go to Starbucks for a couple hours. Not having a car means I have to make these trips to Starbucks worthwhile--no quick trips for me!

I watched 4 movies yesterday--Shutter Island, Winter's Bone, No Country for Old Men, and The Social Network. They all were really good! I've had them downloaded for a while, and I'm glad I finally watched them. I did not feel as if I simply wasted 8 hours of my day. I figure I need to enjoy these lazy days while I can because I'm pretty sure that in a few months, I will forget what it's like to have a lazy day for a loooong time.

In lapband news, I think I've discovered a pattern in my weight loss. It seems that one day I'll lose a couple of pounds then stall for 2-3 days, then drop another few pounds and stall again. This is fine by me, as the scale is most definitely moving in the right direction. I actually weigh myself in kilograms and then convert it to pounds, so for a minute I'm just going to talk in kilograms. For the last few days I've been hanging out around 108.8-109kg (239.8-240.3lbs), and then today I dropped down to 107.5 (236.9lbs). I weighed twice to double check because I basically had ice cream for dinner last night (nothing else would stay down) and I couldn't believe that after an ice cream dinner the scale gods still let me lose weight.

Well, if you made it through my rambling, then thank you for being so dedicated. Or maybe you're just having a lazy day too :)

A New Decade and Need Some Advice

My weight this morning was 239.8--I've officially entered a new decade, the 230's! It took me just over a month to get here. It feels like it took forever, but I know it's a good pace.

I need help! My band hasn't given me too much trouble lately, but last night for some reason I could not eat my chicken "taco"--and I even made homemade guacamole to go with it! (I've eaten it before with no problems.) After PBing AND throwing up the entire contents of my stomach, I settled for just not eating. Now today I have these occasional hiccups and it hurts where my band is (but only when I hiccup). If the pain doesn't stop by tomorrow, I think I might have to go to Seoul on Saturday to get a little more unfill (hopefully not a total unfill). This morning I'm verrrrry slooooowly eating a bowl of cereal with some strawberries but I'm feeling kind of nauseous and I can't tell if it's good old fashioned morning sickness or if it's because of my band.

Last but not least, thank you all for your wonderful encouraging and congratulatory comments over my last few posts! It means the world to me to click on my comments page and see all of those sweet messages :) You guys are the best, and I couldn't do this without your knowledge and support!

60 pounds gone!

That's right, folks - I've officially lost 60 pounds from my highest weight ever (35 since banding). Let's see, what does 60 pounds mean to me...

• It means I'm finally wearing the smallest clothes that I brought with me to Korea, comfortably.
• It means I have to buy a new belt soon because my old one is nearly useless.
• It means I no longer feel like a fat tub o' lard walking around Korea--now I'm just fat (Koreans called my old coworker "fat", who's 6ft. tall and about 170lbs, so take it with a grain of salt). 
• It means I feel like I look pretty good with my clothes on, but underneath all the Spanx there's quite a few... jiggly bits. I'm okay with this (for now--we'll re-evaluate after I have a baby.)
• It means that my blood pressure has been completely normal the last 2 times I've gotten it checked.
• It means that I'm much more comfortable taking the KTX now. The seats are about as wide as airplane seats. I would say I'll be much more comfortable on the long flight home in April, except that I'll be nearly 6 months pregnant and I'm pretty sure it'll be one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life. 
• It means that I can shop for pants again in regular Old Navy and Gap stores!
• It means that I weigh less than my dad!

I'm sure there's more, but this is what I came up with on the spur of the moment. I can't believe I'm almost in the 230's; I wonder when I'm going to "stall out" and start equalizing my weight loss with baby weight gain. I love my band. I know not everyone is this lucky, but so far I really haven't had any major plateaus. I don't keep a food journal and I don't count calories or fat or protein or anything. I just try to be  aware of what I'm putting in my mouth--I eat relatively healthy meals, so if I want to go out and splurge a bit, I don't feel bad or guilty. I <3 Lola! (Remember, Lola is my band.)

Talk about inspiration!

A friend of mine from high school used to weigh around 350lbs, and last February he decided that something had to change. As of today, he reached his goal weight of 175lbs strictly through diet and exercise. He used his own diet and his own exercise routine. How incredible is that?!?!?? It may be 10:30 at night, but I definitely feel like I ought to go run around the block now. Check out his blog at Duct Tape Wedding Ring.

Let's do some squats!

I know I've mentioned this on my other blog, but I don't think I've talked about it here yet. "It" being toilets in Korea. 

Now, in my apartment I have a nice normal toilet that we're all used to. A nice, somewhat comfy throne upon which to sit and ponder the meaning of life. However, if you go out in Korea (or Asia in general) to use a public toilet, it's a 50/50 toss-up whether you'll be faced with one of these: 

a traditional "Western" toilet

or one of these: 

a traditional "Eastern" toilet, or "squatter"

Sadly, my old school building only had squatters. I pretty much never used the toilet unless I absolutely had to and I had a strictly "pee only" policy. There's usually pee all over the floor thanks to hundreds of elementary school children (and it's not exactly easy for girls to aim) and it's generally just gross. 

My school just moved into a brand new building this week and I was certain we would have real Western toilets as the restaurant below has super nice bathrooms. Alas, I was wrong. We only have squatters, again. I'm convinced it's because the owner doesn't want us spending lots of time on the toilet. 

I'm slightly worried now, as it was hard enough to squat down when I wasn't pregnant. Now I'm worried that when my belly starts to grow I'll eventually get stuck in a squatting position and not be able to get back up (there aren't any convenient handicap rails or anything, just the wall to help you up). Sigh. I've really enjoyed my time in Korea, but I can't wait to get back to the US. Just 3 1/2 months to go. 

Super awesome NSV!

Okay, so I know that each and every one of you has at least one pair of pants in the back of your closet that are your "skinny pants".

In my case, I have 6 pairs of skinny pants. Levi's boot cut jeans 22W, Lane Bryant Right Fit jeans Red 4 (roughly a 20/22 I think), 3 pairs of Gap "favorite chinos" 20reg, and 1 pair of Gap "favorite chinos" 18reg.

I was already wearing the Levi's over the summer, but by fall they were pretty baggy and hideous. I fit into the Lane Bryant jeans in the fall, and have been wearing them religiously. They're getting almost unwearable, but if I wear them only the day after washing, they're fine. They're about to be retired though, as I recently bought some jeans from a Korean plus-sized store :)

In the meantime, I'd been trying on the Gap 20's maybe once a month; I can get them over my legs, but the waist was nowhere near fitting. Well, Blogland, today was a momentous day--I got my butt into those Gap 20's and they buttoned without any breath holding! Here's a little backstory about them: The last time I wore one pair was maybe fall/winter of 2007. Two of them I bought in the spring of 2008 and well... they still have the tags on them. Apparently I had high hopes for my weight loss at the time, lol.

Anyway, here I am wearing the pair that I haven't worn in 3 years!

I hope you have a fantastic day!

The difference a year makes

I was just looking back through my blog (since I kinda went public about my surgery today) and realized that it's been a year since I started it. I remember being so fed up with my weight last year, I decided to join Weight Watchers Online and I would make it work in Korea, one way or another. Yeah, that lasted about a week, although I was in denial for a few months and didn't cancel my membership until May or June probably.

My weight loss has been slow, but steady. I'm okay with that, as long as the scale is moving in the right direction. I also have to keep reminding myself that I'm pregnant, and maintenance at this point really is okay. I've also resolved to join the gym tomorrow that's $160 for 3 months. I told Marc to make sure I do it (despite the freezing cold 10-minute walk to get there) and you guys, please comment asking me if I did it! I haven't exercised in about a month... I had a bad cold one week, and that was it.

The scale told me 243.1 today--is it wrong that I already feel skinny? I guess it's just been so long since I've seen these kinds of numbers, my mind is playing tricks on me. I have to keep reminding myself that to other people, I'm still just fat. *sigh*

I'm happy with the way this blog turned out. I'm happy that instead of dying after 3 entries last January, I found a reason to pick it back up in September. I'm also happy that I found the bandster blog world because, honestly, this would be a heck of a lot harder without all of you!

2010

2010 went pretty well. Nothing negative to report, and that's always a plus!

• We dug ourselves out of debt and started paying on my student loan
• We visited China and Singapore and Malaysia
• We decided we were content with our life in Korea, but not content enough to stay a third year
• I made the decision to take charge of my health and have lap-band surgery in October 
• Found out I was pregnant about a month after having the previously-mentioned lap-band surgery (haha, joke's on me!)

I'm looking forward to 2011, as it will see our return to the homeland and the arrival of our first child. 

Happy 2011! I hope you enjoyed your celebrations. We went with some friends to a park downtown to see a show and watch them ring the giant bell at the new year. Afterwards, we watched "Tron: Legacy" so we wouldn't have to wait behind thousands of people trying to get a taxi. 

Awesome vocal ensemble

Children's choir; they were adorable!

Traditional dancers

I didn't take any pictures of the actual bell-ringing or the fireworks because I was too cold to get my camera out again. 

Happy New Year!