Am I really ready for this?

Well, my consult was scheduled for October 14th, but the doctor's nurse called me and said they had to cancel. It was rescheduled for November 2nd. It's okay though, I wasn't too worried about it. Then she called a couple of days later and apparently the surgeon just QUIT the clinic and he was opening a new clinic but wouldn't be able to take any new patients until the beginning of December. WHAT??!?!?

That's when I said ENOUGH. I found another doctor in Seoul (thanks to lapbandtalk.com), sent him an email on a Saturday and he responded on Sunday saying to come in on October 23rd. Hallelujah! I really feel good about this one; I don't think he's as popular, so I think it will be much easier to go on Saturdays--rather than getting up at the asscrack of dawn to go during the week.

I'm so ready for this. I never wanted WLS, but everything just came to a head I guess. We really wanted to have a baby this year, but after about 9 months of trying with no success I went to the doctor and learned I had PCOS. The doctor wouldn't even think about giving me Clomid or anything until I lost 5kg. Not a lot, but at the rate I seem to lose weight, it would have taken 6 months. Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I didn't want to be unhealthy anymore. I want to have a healthy pregnancy and a long, healthy life. Having a BMI of 40.2 just doesn't cut it.

The more realize that this is actually going to happen, the more nervous I feel. What if I can't do it? What if I fail?